SIX IN THE MORNING CONFESSIONS

I AM MISSING YOU MOM. I HAVEN'T SAID IT OUT LOUD IN A WHILE. IN FACT, I'VE STOPPED SAYING IT, EXCEPT FOR EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. IT'S SIX IN THE MORNING AND I'M LOOKING AT RECIPE'S FOR HOECAKE BREAD THAT YOU USED TO FIX FOR US KIDS AS A TREAT. I REALIZED AS I WAS SITTING HERE READING THE RECIPE THAT I WAS HOLDING MY COLD FOLDED ARMS JUST THE WAY YOU USED TOO. WITH MY FEET CROSSED JUST AT MY ANKLES AND SHAKING MY LEGS MINDLESSLY --- I GUESS TO HELP WITH CONCENTRATION.

SLEEP IS IMPORTANT, BUT I MISS IT A LOT LESS THAN I MISS YOU. SO MUCH HAS NOT BEEN THE SAME SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE. NOTHING HAS. NOT THAT I EVER REALLY HAD GOOD HABITS TO BEGIN WITH SINCE MY YOUNG ADULT YEARS. BUT IT TRULY HAS BEEN THE SHEER GRACE OF GOD THAT HAS KEPT ME ALIVE.

FEELS LIKE I'M IN A CONSTANT SEASON OF BROKENNESS EVEN THOUGH I CAN FEEL THE LORD BINDING UP MY BROKENNESS. MY HEART SO EASILY TURNS TO TEARS TO THINK UPON WHERE EVERYONE IS AT THESE DAYS (AS FAR AS ALL THE SIBLINGS AND HOW LITTLE WE ALL COMMUNICATE AND KEEP TRACT OF EACH OTHER). I REALIZE THIS IS NORMAL FOR MOST OF THE WORLD, BUT NOT FOR THE MAYO'S. I KEEP BELIEVING THAT THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE.

I AM NOT WHERE I WOULD LIKE TO BE IN REGARDS TO PRAYER OR DEVOTIONS, I TALK TO GOD EVERY DAY, BUT IT IS NOT THE SAME AS IT USED TO BE. SO MUCH HAS CHANGED. I AM GLAD THAT HE NEVER CHANGES. HE IS ALWAYS THERE AND AVAILABLE AND LISTENING AND NEAR...EVEN WHEN I FEEL FAR. HOW EASILY WE FORGET THE LORD, HOW UNFAITHFUL WE ARE IN FOLLOWING HIM AND HE CONTINUALLY DELIVERS US AND RESCUES US AND REMINDS US OF HIS GOODNESS BY ALLOWING US TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY.

LIFE'S A TRIP

Dylan has started his fall semester already a few trips under way. Shiloh has done wonderfully although after a few days without (Daddy) he kisses his picture and reaches his hands up to the picture on the wall. When Dylan comes home he sobs and won't let go of him for the first few hours. He can't even go in the next room without him panicking... so hoping that his fears subside.

Here are some overdue pics. Shiloh has two bottom teeth now and a few more days he will be a year old.

WALK ON

Shiloh's been walking since August 21st... so fun watching him grow up.

LITTLE AT A TIME

Today Shiloh is eleven months old...and I am taking each day a little at a time. Time keeps moving on...faster and faster...so I am trying to take it slow and get things accomplished when I can, but also take the time to hold and play with our baby and praying for some new creative ways to show love to Dylan.

Do seasons ever change ---
Today is Dylan's last day of work at this job he's had working with conference center at the school. He has been so faithful and loyal and never once complains. He does all that he does well and finishes strong. I am so thankful for his sacrifice and service.

Pictures from camping and from going to our friends wedding...

BRIEF UPDATE

Shiloh's 10 months old now, already taken his first steps and has said his first words (GOD and ball).

This is the backyard where we live...

Sunset towards the north...

Grapes on the vine..

GETTING BACK TO THE BASICS

Dylan and I just got over being sick with colds. He had fever, I did not. I have a bit of a cough and the baby was coughing slightly. But I am quite sure we are all recovered and strong again. THANKS be to GOD our healer.

I tell you what ---- when you don't feel good (which is rare by the mercy of God) it sure does bring some new and important perspective on thankfulness. So thankful to be done with the yuck.

OCCUPY

Spent the 4th of July in Bellingham watching fireworks. When we crossed the border back to the states on our way to go see the fireworks... the border patrol person said, "WELCOME HOME." I was wishing I was wearing red white and blue right then. I do love and appreciate America. I am thankful to be an American. I cannot in good conscience say that I am proud of America due to the onslaught of injustice and dishonor and constant greed and lies happening from the top to the bottom...affecting us all.
Here's a video of Shiloh's first time swinging on an outdoor swing...at the playground.